Comedy Contest Winner Takes On Trump
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David Weinbach, Ellen Orchid, Geoff Kole, Jessica Schechter, Rina Blech and Michael Blech.

David Weinbach captures the 19th annual Funniest Jewish Comedian Contest.

What’s the real reason President Donald Trump couldn’t move the U.S. embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem? David Weinbach, who took home first place in the 19th Annual Funniest Jewish Comedian Contest on June 25, had the answer.

“Have you ever dealt with Israeli movers?” Weinbach asked a packed crowd at Broadway Comedy Club on West 53rd Street. “Whose gonna move the embassy, Moishe’s? You can’t negotiate a price with them. And they lose everything. Can you imagine the memo from the State Department? ‘Good news! The embassy has moved from Tel Aviv. Unfortunately, we can’t locate it. We think it’s somewhere in a warehouse in Queens.’”

The Brooklyn resident, who is in his late 30s and owns a title insurance company, said that if Trump came to his synagogue, he would make the mechitza higher and make the women pay for it. Weinbach referred to the BDS movement as the “B movement,” and said for Israelis, the only two-state solution is New York and California.

He also said when a date repeated that she only was looking for something serious, he took her to random shiva houses where “the food was incredible.”

Comedian Geoff Kole, who has produced the Jewish Week-sponsored show for the last 15 years, praised the winner.

“He owned the crowd from the second he stepped on stage,” Kole said. “His set was clean, crisp and original.”

Brooklyn psychiatrist Ellen Orchid took second place with a set in which she joked that for her son’s science fair project, they tried to figure out which wine would make her pass out the fastest. She mused about the difficulty of being divorced.

“It gets lonely being a single mom at home in the evenings,” Orchid said “You know, my daughter’s on Facebook all the time. My son’s on the Xbox all the time. And I’m on Xanax all the time.”

Third place was a tie between actress and director Jessica Schechter and Michael Blech, both from Manhattan.

Schechter, 29, talked about a date that had a panic attack in an elevator and made fun of people who attempt set her up with guys that wouldn’t be a good match, using the philosophy that “you never know.” Schechter is a producer of the popular YouTube dramedy series “Soon By You,” which deals with the Orthodox dating scene on the Upper West Side. On the show, she plays a character named Noa, who lambasts guys that don’t return text messages. That won’t likely be a problem for Schechter in real life.

“I expect she’ll be headlining major clubs as well as having her own Comedy Central special at some point in the near future,” said Kole, who praised her onstage delivery.

Blech, 27 who works at a biotech startup, said he took classes at Comedy Cellar. They obviously paid off. He had the crowd laughing when he said that every guy needs first-date insurance.

“What’s the co-pay on the lobster?” he said, mimicking a dater calling an insurance company. “I didn’t know she had a pre-existing condition. What do you mean, Yunnan Garden is out of network?”

Blech said it’s important to be generous and he wanted to spread the word about his website, which lists his anonymous donations.

“If you know any women ages 18 to 72 between two and eight feet tall between a 2,000-mile radius of New York, just tell them I might look boring, but I’m very generous,” he said.

Kole, who judged the contest with author Gloria Davison and comedian Steve Marshall, got laughs when he did a spot-on Indian accent.

In his set, Marshall told a man in the first row that the patron was eating like it was his last meal. After the show, Marshall said he was not surprised the audience ate up the material of some of the comedians. He said Weinbach had a powerhouse persona, Orchid was a classic standup that delivered great punchlines, Schechter had great storytelling ability on stage and Michael Blech’s joke writing stood out as well crafted. Blech’s aunt, Rina Blech, took fourth place in the event, which featured nine competitors.

Marshall also said their humor was universal.

“What I liked,” he said, “is that you didn’t have to be Jewish to enjoy these comedians.”

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